Don't even waste your time wondering what's wrong with you if you haven't at least checked these items off the list. Your very last house on the block should be after you've covered these bases.

1. TEETH: Get those babies in check players. Even if you can't afford braces or whatever it is you need, make sure what's there is clean. Get floss sticks, teeth whitener, a good tooth brush and strong mouth wash. If we've seen it once we've seen it 100 times. “The cute guy with the nasty breath and/or yellow teeth”. Women are attracted to health, and that means a nice mouth. Also they have to kiss that shit so make it inviting.

2. B.O.: Alright so this is pretty simple. Deodorant, body wash and cologne all in the same sent preferably. When you wash yourself get a detachable showerhead if possible and turn that shit on like a fire hose and wash yoself. Also a loofah sponge is a good way to really lather up and get clean. Girls may like guys that look dirty, but no one likes a dirty guy.

3. HOBBIE: This could be a sport, a musical instrument, an artistic ability, a love of magic, etc. What is it? What's your thing? Think long and hard if you can't think of one right away. This is the number one thing that will attract a woman. Girls love guys who have something they love. You need something that you are passionate about to impress her with.

4. GROUP: Do you belong to a group of some kind? Any kind? Something that you really like? Sports team, a band, a gym,a 12 step group, an outside of school class, a writers group, a church...etc. Girls like guys who have something besides girls to focus on, something they care about and something they are striving for. Also having a group behind you makes you a more confident man, which makes you more attractive.

5. SKIN: Yeah it’s not easy bein greezy. We understand we be greezy ourselves! But you should at least be trying to get your skin under check. Basically girls like white teeth, clear skin, nice hair, and bright eyes. That is what makes them physically attracted to you. It tells the world you are healthy. So although some things like scars are harder to help, the basic thing is just the effort. Also playing into this is facial hair. If you are trying to make your rat patch work for you but it’s all sparse, its not helping the cause! Unless you have a full on five o’clock shadow, forget it. Just stick to the freshly shaved look.

This has never worked in the history of man kind: GIVING HER ADVICE OR LISTENING TO HER RATTLE OFF ABOUT HER EX OR CURRENT BOYFRIEND or father for that matter. She will never think of you as an actual dude if you don't stop that shit immediately. Let her cry to her girlfriends-NOT YOU!!! If you sit there and listen to that shit it would be like slowly becoming a woman in her eyes. IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Be the guy she's crying about, not the guy she's crying too!!! If you feel the urge to get into it, YOU MUST RESIST. Shoulders to cry on are the guys GIRLS USE until they find that guy they will actually get with. Don't be that shoulder!!! We love you too much to see that happen to you!!!

Here's some general guidelines for guys who don't care about fashion or just don't know what to do with themselves. This is not for the guy who already has a style that they love and that girls love too, this is for the guy who doesn't think what hes doing is working.Girls do care about this stuff guys!!! Keep this list in your pocket when you go shopping.

1. Don't wear anything with a picture/symbol/brand name across it.

2. Stick to basics.

3. Always wear DARK wash jeans.

4. Stay away from lines or weird marks on the jeans as well.

5. Make sure the jeans are straight legged with out being tapered, try a boot cut.

6. Plaid shirts/vintage looking, are always hot.

7. Plain CASUAL button ups are always good as well.

8.Plain t-shirts are good, v-necks are usually tacky.

9. As far as shoes just stick to some plain shoes, like CONVERSE Chuck Taylors. You really can't lose with a gray or black pair of those.

10. Get the idea of whats in by cruising the online stores. (gap, american eagel, urban outfitters)

11. Jeans should always be worn at the hip with a belt.

Ok so a HUGE turn on for girls is when you: Wipe The Hair Away From Her Face. Just move your hand across the outline of her face so no hairs are hanging around. Sounds simple but guys totally forget to make this move, and it really works! Suddenly you are a prince just because you took the time to move some stray hairs away to reveal a face longing for your sweet ass kisses. Trust us we know this shit because we have witnessed it and experienced it and we still can't explain it. When girls get together to give a play by play of what happened the night before, if this move is  mentioned all the other girls suddenly start squealing, guaranteed. We don't know exactly what it is, but we've fallen for it too. Could be TV and Movies, could be biological, either way it fucking works. 

So there are a bunch of guys out there who are really hard up, hard up for SEX or any almost version of it. That’s fine; we’ve all been hard up in our lives, Wing Girls included. Great. Fabulous. Wonderful. Being hard up makes guys do all sorts of crazy ass shit, that’s ok too. Girls can accept that. What I can’t accept is that when this hard up dude finally gets laid he abandons his previous life and is crazy rude to his former girl friends. No, not ex-girlfriends, in which case he shouldn’t be talking to them anyways, I’m talking his friends that are girls that have listened to him through sick and through poor. It’s just weird that penis insertion could make a guy who was previously super nicey mcnice turn into a royal fucking dick wad over night. Baffling really. I thought that shit was supposed to make guys happier. I thought getting pussy makes guys feel right in the world, like helping old ladies across the street and shit. Unfortunately with some guys I’ve noticed the exact opposite, they turn into massive assholes who think because they found someone to fuck them they don’t need anyone else. What? Someone to watch Family Guy with and rub my balls? What more could I ask for in this life? Bye friends. Bye Family. Bye Hobbies, Aspirations and Goals. Bye Personality. And Especially Bye girls who I was keeping around hopping that one day they would drunk fuck me or something. Some guys are just keeping their girl friends around and being super nice because they want us to sleep with them one day. That totally sucks. The thing is my friend, who recently did this, I was really happy for him! The girl is pretty and nice and I was completely stoked! Then he started getting this attitude with all his friends like “I have a gf now my life is complete, and I’m also a giant douche now!” So lame. So to all my boys who are on the verge of getting some action, don’t forget the rest of the world. Remember that being totally submerged in booby does not give you free asshole range. Also on a side note, or in closing, remember that the girl that is sleeping with you does not find any of this behavior attractive. When she sees how easy it is to be your whole world, she wonders whats wrong with you. How could someone abandon everything for me? He must not have anything going for himself. Also in terms of time if you spend every second with her she is going to be totally turned off. So even if you would rather die be nice to the people in your life and make time to hang out with your friends and family, no matter how much you’d rather be neck deep in lady privates.

HIM: Hey, what’s up? It’s me, Alex.

HER: Oh, Hey.

HIM: What’s up? How are you today?

(NEXT 5 MIN OF QUESTIONS AND RELATING HER REPLIES TO YOUR OWN LIFE)

HER: I’m__________. Just finished________.

HIM: Really? That’s cool. I did that last year. It’s really fun.

HER: Yeah it is. I went with my friend ______ to do it.

HIM: Oh cool. How do you know her?

HER: We met at drivers ed.

HIM: Oh, you got a ticket?

HER: Yeah, for not stopping at a stop sign. So lame.

HIM: Seriously? That’s so funny! I got one for speeding on the 4___.

HER: Really? Where were you going?

HIM: The ________. Ever been?

HER: Yeah, my family lives up there.

HIM: Cool!

HER: Yeah, its fun to visit.

HIM: Totally. So, I gotta run but I wanted to see if you wanted to go to the movies Friday? We could see ________, it comes out that day.

HER: I can’t Friday, but I can do Saturday.

HIM: Sweet, that works.

HER: Cool.

HIM: Ok, I will pick you up at 7. What’s your address again?

HER: ________

HIM: Alright, cool.

HIM:

Hey,

I love your videos.

I have a question though. I really have always fantasized about urinating on a girls breasts. How can I bring this up to my girlfriend and convince her to do it?

I have to imagine that in addition to it being so sexy, that it probably feels really good, because urine is really warm so it probably feels nice and soothing spraying and dripping down breasts for the woman.

How can I convince my girlfriend to let me do this? It doesn't have to be an every night thing. Like maybe once every now and then as a special treat. Like on my birthday or something. How do I bring this up without it sounding weird?

WG: Hey dude,

So here's the thing with getting your girlfriend to try something new and different. It should be a suggestion, not something you need to convince her to do. This isn't like, hey let's get Italian instead of Chinese. No arguments are going to work in this case.

It's better if you come to her and say, hey, there is something I've been thinking about. It may sound a little freaky, and I'm totally okay if you say no, but if you'd be open to it, I'd really like to pee on your breasts.

To make it fair, you can offer that she gets to act out one of her fantasies on you, like you have to dress up like Johnny Depp in "Pirates of the Caribbean" and call her a wench.

Also, for starters, ask if she's okay with it in the shower to try it for the first time. Less messy that way.

Good luck!